A blog that chronicles everything that is inclusive of me. As random as the prize in a Cracker Jack box, each entry gives me release and permits growth. Come and Grow With Me.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
So, it's really over
So, once upon a time in my formative queer years I jumped into a relationship. (I jumped into those rather quickly back then which is probably why I still can't get them right to this day....but I digress) It started out as a "sex" thing. Those "sex" things can sometimes build into "emotions" which can lead to "relationships". I won't go on and on about this thing. We'll call him "Asshole" because that's the best name for him right now. He can probably call me a few choice ones as well. I cheated on him. I lied to him. I was awful. He wasn't a saint either, but I think I did the most damage. Anyways....It's been over four years. We talked since the break up. We even would see each other from time to time. Early on, there was sex involved, but that dwindled off as we were trying to be friends. Well, there was a mutual frenemy that we had. His friend. My enemy. (Not really my enemy, I just don't do him.) We'll call him "Messy". I know that "Asshole" and "Messy" have recently became pretty tight via facebook/myspace. The other day, "Asshole" crossed my mind and whenever that happens, I like to reach out, whether it's an email/phone call/text just to see that everything is okay. This "Asshole" proceeds to tell me to "lose the number". I didn't have it in me to ask why or care. I put 2 and 2 together. "Messy" has shared some things with him. What? I don't know. Are they true? Some probably are. So, talk about closure! That was one relationship that I felt really bad about. I know that I wasn't perfect. I know that I made some mistakes. If light has been shed on some or all of those things, good! I never meant to hurt dude. I know that was not his intention either. Some people are in your life for a lifetime, while others are just for a season. Even though his little nickname may say otherwise, I'm over it. I wish him the best. Peace out, "Asshole".