I don't know where to begin....

I know I've been gone for a minute, but I am going to make a commitment to blogging again. There has been so much going on, but for the most part it hasn't all been productive. I am a serious procrastinator and distraction lover. I wait until the last minute and even in that moment, I look for something else to do.

It's time to grow the hell up. At damn near 30, you'd think that to be a ridiculous statement, but it's true. The hair on my face. Bass in my voice. Height. Weight. Education. None of that means a hill of beans when you can't face the present in a mature manner. I've been running away and running in circles. If it is to be, it is up to me. It's a process I've avoided for damn near 30 years. Long overdue.

What are you guys reading out there? I'm reading a book entitled "Growing Up Black". It's a collection of essays that include the stories of Amiri Baraka, Angela Davis and Maya Angelou to name a few. It captures poignant moments in their coming of age. I find it ironic that I would be reading this book and experiencing the recent eye openers on my very own immaturity.

Adam4Adam and BGC may have become an addiction for me. I don't necessarily hook up with any of the guys, but the sites were becoming a Facebook for me. So, I deleted both. I've deleted before. Let's see how long this last.

Until the next blog....

I may be late, but I'm loving VV Brown...

(Not) Grown and/or Mature

I have been guilty,quite guilty to be honest, of referring myself to be "Mature" and "Grown". I have frequently heard friends, family, and complete strangers reference themselves at "Mature" and "Grown". I think that some people get the two confused, not realizing that you can be one or the other, both, or none at all. I believe that maturity is measured in the handling of business. I always felt as though, maturity levels were best detected in the reaction to live's obstacles and occurences. For instance, the high school era may have easily found me in some he said, she said garbage. Nowadays, I avoid that shit like the plague. I've seen people several years, if not decades, my senior facilitate and thrive in environments of bad mouthing. I consider those people to be immature. As far as the "Grown" thing goes, I consider that to be reflective of one's independence. For instance, if you got your own shit and don't rely on anyone 100% (we all have our moments when we need somebody to lean on.....lean on me, when you're....) to make it day to day, you are grown in my opinion. I have a nephew that's embarking on the momentous occasion of turning 18. He swears up and down that he's grown and mature. He feels like that birthday will be the icing on the cake. I tell him time and time again that maturity and being "grown" have nothing to do with age. He doesn't believe me. I think I was just as naive.

But in the words of Brother Langston:

Mother to Son
Well, son, I'll tell you:Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,And splinters,And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --Bare.
But all the timeI'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,And turnin' corners,And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --For I'se still goin', honey,I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

He'll learn, just as I did that with each step up that stair, you're inching closer and closer to being a man.

Taking Back My Freedom

Things are looking up in my personal and professional life. As days go by, so much is being revealed to me. I am accepting those things that I cannot change and embracing those that I can. Life is a process....a beautiful process. If it don't kill you, it will only make you stronger. I'm praying for everyone out there in the struggle that is life. If there is ever any doubt, be confident in knowing that there is a better way. Trouble don't last always.