I don't know where to begin....

I know I've been gone for a minute, but I am going to make a commitment to blogging again. There has been so much going on, but for the most part it hasn't all been productive. I am a serious procrastinator and distraction lover. I wait until the last minute and even in that moment, I look for something else to do.

It's time to grow the hell up. At damn near 30, you'd think that to be a ridiculous statement, but it's true. The hair on my face. Bass in my voice. Height. Weight. Education. None of that means a hill of beans when you can't face the present in a mature manner. I've been running away and running in circles. If it is to be, it is up to me. It's a process I've avoided for damn near 30 years. Long overdue.

What are you guys reading out there? I'm reading a book entitled "Growing Up Black". It's a collection of essays that include the stories of Amiri Baraka, Angela Davis and Maya Angelou to name a few. It captures poignant moments in their coming of age. I find it ironic that I would be reading this book and experiencing the recent eye openers on my very own immaturity.

Adam4Adam and BGC may have become an addiction for me. I don't necessarily hook up with any of the guys, but the sites were becoming a Facebook for me. So, I deleted both. I've deleted before. Let's see how long this last.

Until the next blog....

I may be late, but I'm loving VV Brown...

The Random Holiday Wishes

I'm not alone in being in reciept of the million holiday themed text messages. I lost count early yesterday morning. They all come from a good place, but I find them a little unecessary. Technology has damn near erradicated the more thoughtful tradition of sending a Christmas card. I particularly would send out the most beautiful African American inspired cards to friends, coworkers, and family alike. It's those little touches that make the difference. A mass, random text to everyone in your calling list is informal and generic at most. However, in this economy and climate I realize postage may be a little much. However, there are egreetings cards as an alternative.

Anyway, I said this all to say that a large number of my Christmas texts came from mysterious numbers. I never text them back to say "Who Is This?". For several reasons like:

1. They thought of me enough to save my number on their phone.
2. They are simply wishing me a merry Christmas, not requesting a kidney.
3. Maybe I should leave well enough alone.

Needless to say, I didn't know what ex-boyfriend, ex-friend, one night stand, former co-worker, family member was behind a lot of the well wishes, but I am appreciative to be at the push of their thumb via the send button.

Has anyone out there had any interesting moments with anonymous Holiday text messengers?

Water Sports

Water Sports? Why? One of my former booty calls/acquaintances mentioned an interest in it. Asked if I would partake with them in it. We haven't chatted since. I can't get down with it. There is not enough tequila/crack/cocaine/marijuana in the world... It disgusts me.

He's a great guy. We had some great times. That was a big turn off for me. Anyone else encounter any fetishes that wound up being deal breakers?

Single and Loving It?

Okay, I admit that I've had my fair share of ups and downs on this whole relationship rollercoaster. I can attribute may a failure and success to myself. And across the board, I've gotten the same feedback in regards to me not being emotionally/physically available, honest, considerate, and the list goes on and on. I accept some, but not all of the critiques, but that has nothing to do with why I'm writing...

I've been officially single for almost a month. And when I say officially single, I'm referring to not having any ties to anyone (booty calls included) and I'm refreshed but still feel a void. It's like I'm longing for something. I don't know what exactly it it. I certainly don't want to be in a relationship. More specifically, I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone that I know of right now.
I wouldn't mind dating. Hey, that may be what I'm missing. Who the hell knows. It's 4 AM and this is what is on my mind...
The freedom I love. I think it's the lonliness that's getting me.

Making Sense Of It All

I know that I am not alone. As I've journeyed through this masterpiece called life, I've had some good days and some bad days. I've made some good decisions and some bad decisions. I've had some good friends and some bad friends. I've been both as well. I've been thinking about all of this. I've been trying to make sense of it all. I've asked why.
I've done all of this thinking, only to arrive at the conclusion that I'm thankful from where I've come, where I'm at, and where I'm going.
Although the past is the past, it's still relevant. I have to digest the good with the bad. This is random. Your boy has been going through though. For real. Hope to return to the blogosphere full time soon. Much Love

Still Here...Fatal Floosies And All

I have been so busy. I mean seriously busy. I ain't complaining. I almost forgot how to blog though. LOL. I read an interesting book by none other than one of my fave authors, Pearl Cleage, entitled "Deals with the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot". It's an older collection of essays but she's filled with so much truth, that bad boy will be relecvant for generatios to come. My fave essay would have to be "Fatal Floosies". In a nutshell, she really goes there on how one should embrace their sexuality and sexiness. I went through a phase where I would feel guilty about a one night stand or F*ck Buddy. After reading that essay, I totally felt better about it. Not that I went out and sowed my oats to every Tom, Dick, Harry or shall I say Malcolm, D.J., and Chris...LOL. It's okay to be sexually responsible. But you have to be both in this day and age. Hetero or Homo. It doesn't matter. Nobody wants to be a "Fatal Floosie". I won't go into that. Pick up a copy from Amazon, Ebay, or whatever to find out if you qualify.

BTW::::I had a one night stand that has not left my mind. It was passionate. It was sweet. It wasn't the usual f*ck and go, go and f*ck. I secretly longed for it to last longer. But I wouldn't allow myself to get suckered into those thoughts for long. It was what it was. But I like it.

Good Night Blogosphere!

Anita Baker is Long Overdue

In a non MJ related post, I went to see Anita Baker live at Chastain Park this past weekend. She was fabulous. She looked every bit of thirty something and sounded every bit of the "Rapture" and "Sweet Love" the radio speaks of. It rained, but not even that could've spoiled the evening. With wine in hand, she took me on a rollercoaster of emotions, as I reminisced on past loves and the overall longing to get some of that stufff she sings so sweetly about it. She said it herself that she wanted to do more political songs, but she sings love songs better. That is the damn truth. Where is her Lifetime Achievement Award? Next year, BET Awards can redeem themselves with a fitting tribute to Anita Baker. I can see Tamia, Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, Jazmine Sullivan, or even a Solange could be a part of the lineup.

One of my fave Anita Baker songs..."Watch Your Step" (Aint that Truth)

I like everything about this...

;)---This started my Friday off right. He needs to be signed!