Single and Loving It?

Okay, I admit that I've had my fair share of ups and downs on this whole relationship rollercoaster. I can attribute may a failure and success to myself. And across the board, I've gotten the same feedback in regards to me not being emotionally/physically available, honest, considerate, and the list goes on and on. I accept some, but not all of the critiques, but that has nothing to do with why I'm writing...

I've been officially single for almost a month. And when I say officially single, I'm referring to not having any ties to anyone (booty calls included) and I'm refreshed but still feel a void. It's like I'm longing for something. I don't know what exactly it it. I certainly don't want to be in a relationship. More specifically, I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone that I know of right now.
I wouldn't mind dating. Hey, that may be what I'm missing. Who the hell knows. It's 4 AM and this is what is on my mind...
The freedom I love. I think it's the lonliness that's getting me.

Making Sense Of It All

I know that I am not alone. As I've journeyed through this masterpiece called life, I've had some good days and some bad days. I've made some good decisions and some bad decisions. I've had some good friends and some bad friends. I've been both as well. I've been thinking about all of this. I've been trying to make sense of it all. I've asked why.
I've done all of this thinking, only to arrive at the conclusion that I'm thankful from where I've come, where I'm at, and where I'm going.
Although the past is the past, it's still relevant. I have to digest the good with the bad. This is random. Your boy has been going through though. For real. Hope to return to the blogosphere full time soon. Much Love

Still Here...Fatal Floosies And All

I have been so busy. I mean seriously busy. I ain't complaining. I almost forgot how to blog though. LOL. I read an interesting book by none other than one of my fave authors, Pearl Cleage, entitled "Deals with the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot". It's an older collection of essays but she's filled with so much truth, that bad boy will be relecvant for generatios to come. My fave essay would have to be "Fatal Floosies". In a nutshell, she really goes there on how one should embrace their sexuality and sexiness. I went through a phase where I would feel guilty about a one night stand or F*ck Buddy. After reading that essay, I totally felt better about it. Not that I went out and sowed my oats to every Tom, Dick, Harry or shall I say Malcolm, D.J., and Chris...LOL. It's okay to be sexually responsible. But you have to be both in this day and age. Hetero or Homo. It doesn't matter. Nobody wants to be a "Fatal Floosie". I won't go into that. Pick up a copy from Amazon, Ebay, or whatever to find out if you qualify.

BTW::::I had a one night stand that has not left my mind. It was passionate. It was sweet. It wasn't the usual f*ck and go, go and f*ck. I secretly longed for it to last longer. But I wouldn't allow myself to get suckered into those thoughts for long. It was what it was. But I like it.

Good Night Blogosphere!

When to say When...

I never really understood the plastic surgery craze, particularly in the black community. I could honestly see it's purpose in reducing the appearance of an unsightly scar, but to just throw your face away. Hell no! Most of the people that I think have suffered under the knife, looked perfectly fine beforehand. I've ran across bits and pieces of Dancing With The Stars. Although, I'm rooting for Lil' Kim, not a second goes by that I wonder what was dying inside her, to allow her face to be mutilated. She calls herself the black Barbie. If that was her goal, it was missed completely. Black girls aren't supposed to look like Barbie. Black girls are supposed to look like black girls, with black noses, black lips, etc... There was a whole Black is Beautiful movement that I think she totally come back into play these days. I think this will be yet another thing the Obama's will be secretly charged with. Michelle and Barack haven't had a lick of work done. I'm hoping that everybody can look at them, and just find comfort in their own skin. I was going to get on Michael Jackson, but that's been done. Michael said to hell with being black, to hell with even being a human being. He looks like something from Star Trek:Deep Space Nine. Vivica Fox is another one. The thing I liked about her in the beginning of her career was that she looked like a round the way girl. She wasn't ugly, nor was she super hollywood glam. She was that cute girl that you could see walking in your neighborhood, working the checkout at your local Winn-Dixie, teaching 6th grade at the elementary, or singing in the church choir. She now looks like another Barbie wannabe. These cosmetic procedures are dangerous and not worth it in my opinion. Especially, if you wind up looking like a long lost, evil cousin of your former self. I digress...

The "S" Word

I was thinking that if the NAACP could come togther and put on a funeral for the "N" word, Can someone throw one for "Swagger". That word has been misused and abused. People that it doesn't even apply to are claiming it and throwing it about. If I hear that shit in one more song.....

2 Caucasian Persuasions That Irritate The Sh*t Out Of Me!

Okay these two white people have been giving my television a headache lately. I'll start with the big gimmick that is Becky a.k.a. "Buckwild". Her "homegirl" act is old and I really wish she would stop all together. I caught an extended glimpse of her best "Quandalesha Bongesha" impression on an episode of I Love Money 2. Now, I must admit that all of the characters on there have to be a tad bit embellished but she is by far the worse. She got busted on Flavor of Love for being a fraud. You'd think she'd given up the whole thing by now. You'd think that someone like Saaphyri, her BFF, would have checked her on that insulting BS by now. I digress. I'll probably catch another episode or two or three, lol.
Now anyone who has been watching American Idol has got to be familiar with Nick Mithcell/Norman Gentle. Can I be one of the first to say that Norman Gentle isn't even funny. This mofo has worn out "And I Am Telling You..." . I wonder if that is the only song he knows. The gig has to be up. The weird thing is that when he sings, there are actually parts that reveal that he can possibly be a decent singer. I thought that he would've scrapped the crap last night and performed as himself. Needless to say, he brought out old trusty and made an ass out of himself. He can not advance with that B.S. I know there are millions of people that auditioned that are probably throwing remotes and other inanimate objects at their flat screens when he pops up. Well these are two white people that really annoy the sh*t out of me. I could create a list of their black counterparts but that would take up a couple of posts, lol.

Take A Little Piece Of Me

I've been going through this thing we all call life, just as good and as bad as the rest. I've seen friends come and go. I've seen friends resurface from so far back, that I had to blow the dust off of them. I understand that everyone is placed in our lives for a reason. I also understand that we're placed in people's lives for a reason. I'm saying all of this because I've been reflecting upon my personal and professional relationships as of late. It's got me to wondering what happened to such and such and why have I put up with his/her shit for so long. I've arrived at some weird answers. For instance, I've realized that a friend of mine that absolutely annoys the shit out of me has shown me my strengths in her weakness, as well as my weaknesses in her strengths. I guess it's a classic case of give and take. She still drives me crazy, but I can semi-overlook the annoyance when I look at the pay off. Another friend of mine betrayed my trust to the infinity power. I vowed to never talk to her again. She, however, resurfaced in my life and like a virus, won't go away. I realized that we actually have a great time whenever we go out or socialize. We create our own "club" within a club, or our own "event" within an event. We can truly forget our troubles together. I had to learn a lesson of forgiveness with this one. I'm sure she took something away from the ordeal as well. What? Who Knows? I would hope that anyone I've interacted with, has walked away with of piece of me. (Not like that, so get your minds out the gutter). I mean some kind of lesson or take-away from our interaction with one another. I know that there is something I've taken from everyone. Whether it was a lesson in paitence or a class on overcoming, I've taken something away. Now, as for the relationship side. I don't know where to begin. That's an ever evolving lesson. I think I'm fit to teach some and learn some. My ex's are all that for a reason, but I have been able to maintain some form of a relationship with them all. Althouth some may be bordering non-existence, there is some form of cordiality there. I've learned about the emotional weight of the human heart and the cause/effects of infidelity, to name a few. There is a laundry list there that I will have to get to at another date/time. Until the next time...

Thinking Without Thinking

I really must applaud my subliminal ,or was it my body ,or was it my psyche? I don't know what to attribute but for it, but I am very thankful that I did not take my ass out (as planned) on yesterday or the day before. I had every intention of going out and gettng liquored up. Friday, I laid down for a "nap". Saturday, I laid down for a "nap". Needless to say, these naps developed into a full fledged "good night" kind of sleep. I missed the nightlife completely. Which, based upon my current financial predicament was a good thing. I drink and good stupid with money. (i.e. buying mofo's drinks or thinking that i've got diddy's checking account) I was able to catch up on some Z's and save some cheese. I knew I was damn near broke, but the forces that be wouldn't allow me to get broke(-er). LOL. Until the next time....

This Whole Obama Thing

I may be alone, or at least a minority, in my thinking. I am not really feeling all of this Obama mania. I am happy. I respect him. I support him. I do not, however, worship the ground this man walks on. I'm really getting the feel that some are worshiping at the United Church of Barrack these days. It's beginning to get sickening now because I personally think that the expectations for this administration are so high that he's being set up for failure. That may be the pessimist in me speaking loud and clear. The optimist in me is saying that this will be the best administration ever. They may even be responsible for locating Amelia Earhart in the next 4 years. The reality is that he's been handed 8 years of bullshit. It will probably take 8 more years to clean up. I haven't known us Americans (including myself) to be that patient and understanding.

Face it, I think we've got more of a celebrity on our hands than we do a commander in chief. However, I don't think his intentions were to be made into Beverly Hills 9021Obama. The media blitz around him has been colossal. It is no fault of his own. He's dashing. He's eloquent. He's charming. He's intelligent. He's George Clooney. (lol) There has been a change alright.

Buses upon buses of people have left here, headed for DC. Thousands of first time voters took part in this historical election. I hope that this interest in the livelyhood of this country doesn't die down on tomorrow. I can only hope that all of this energy continues to grow and empowers people to be that change they voted for. I hope that naysayers are continued to be proven wrong. I hope that the work of this administration is stronger than it's luster.

Anyways, I said all of this to say that "Yes, We Will" - (optimism perseveres)

Alright

It's only a few days into the new year and let me be the first to say that everything is going to be alright. I don't think obstacles present themselves at any particular time. In fact, they truly don't give a fuck about the new year. They don't care about what your heart desires. They don't care about where you've been. They could give two shits about where you are going. My challenge to everyone out there is not to give into these obstacles. Hurdle over them the best you can. Don't succumb. Overcome! Everything is going to be alright! I'm going to have to repeat this daily.

Doing It Again

Has anyone else fell into this trap? I'm referring to this trap. This one. And this one. It happens. I'm sure it's avoidable. Why do I continue falling into it?

The Brink

We are stepping on the heels of 2009, as we walk/run/jog/sail/fly/drive from 2008. The mode of transportation all depends on the year you had. I can honestly say that I'm grateful for everything that 2008 brought. There was some lemonade, but with lemonade there comes lemons.

Each year I have taken on the daunting task of making resolutions and promises, only to see them broken and unfulfilled. Ultimately, it makes me feel like a total failure. I'll literally beat myself up about it.

I'm not sure if I'll go down the road of jotting this stuff down. There is a great deal of soul searching that has to take place in my life. I can't limit that process to the remainder of 2008.

I've learned that life is a process that is not limited to 365 days. It takes time. However, I will use this time wisely. Maybe, I'll resolve to use this time wisely. No specifics. God knows. I know. Use this time wisely.

Deleted Temptation

I must say that I really must know myself. I've questioned that in the past, but I can honestly say that I can predict some of my potential actions. If there is alcohol involved, I can attest that anything is possible. Alcohol in conjunction wih my cell phone creates a match perfect for some fuckery (literally and figuratively). Maybe a month ago, after a couple of hook-ups, I deleted the phone numbers of a lot of niggas that I just didn't want to mess with anymore. I did this while I was completely sober. I just thought I was getting a little too old and tired of the same ole' niggas bringing the same ole' shit. You know? Sex is good, but it just wasn't working with those that were deleted for a number of reasons. Anyways, this past Thanksgiving holiday, I got pretty tipsy and I started fumbling through my phone looking for those numbers. I was pissed at the time, but delighted to wake up the following morning with no regrets. Now, I'm not saying that I won't be adding to the phone book. I'm just saying out with the old and tired and in with the NEW! Come out! Come Out! Wherever you are! LOL

Present, Not So Much Accounted For

I'm dealing with this world just like the rest. The economoy sucking is a big deal, but that combined with the smorgasbord of shit one can be presented with is enough to take you away from blogging. I am present. I just don't have anything to say. It'll come back.

A Dream Deferred

Martin Luther King's legacy certainly has breath in today's society. I would be crazy to say that it doesn't exist and that there is no hope for his dream to come to fruition. How much we will see of it in our lifetime is unclear. I just don't get his children. Over the past couple of years, I've witnessed some very unflattering stories on their behavior and mismanagement. Now we've all heard the saying that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Their parents are heroes. Why does it have to come to something like this? They act like they are some ex-best friends on Judge Karen or some shit. I just expected better. MLK Jr. is a hard act to follow, but DAMN! Get it together people.

King children fight over papers in Atlanta court

ATLANTA (AP) — The children of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King are facing off in an Atlanta courtroom, at odds over their mother's personal papers that could factor into a lucrative book deal.
It is one of three separate lawsuits in recent months among the surviving King children: The Rev. Bernice King, Martin Luther King III and Dexter King.
In Tuesday's case, Dexter King, as the head of his father's estate, is seeking his mother's papers, which are currently in his sister's possession.
Bernice King is refusing to turn over the papers, claiming her mother did not want to participate in the $1.4 million book deal.
New York-based Penguin Group is threatening to pull the deal this week without the documents.

Sarah Palin's Rear "View" Mirror

Okay, I'm now more and more addicted to The View. I know, I know, I need to find something better to do with my time. I was not going to give in to the morning gab fest, but the teaser said that T.I. was going to perform and it was going to be a full show of "Hot Topics". By the way, T.I.'s album is great. He can stop exlpaining and apologizing about his situation now. There is no good excuse for that shit. Just do your time and hurry back with the music.

Sarah Palin will probably never ever grace the set of "The View". Today, it's apparent that Joy Behar hates her. Hate may very well be too strong a word, but Joy didn't mince words about the Veep candidate on today's show. They (The anti-Elizabeths) typically sugar up their commentary somewhat to make it appear that they are not in attack mode.

It's interesting how this whole thing plays out day to day.

She's That Chick

I have this weird relationship with The View. I've blogged about before, as recently as this week. I've been dying to comment about the newest resident, Sherri Shepherd. It wasn't until I had the opportunity to look at Clay Cane's take (a hilarious truth) on the newbie that I had to reveal my take on her. I think Sherri, although she makes many want to physically remove her from the set by violent force, belongs on The View. She is a rude awakening for Black America. If you sit back and think, you know many people like her. I can count on two hands, several folks I know that were ill informed or plain ignorant on issues. They were well into their 20s, 30s, and 40s and had the slightest clue about some of the simplest shit. Sherri Shepherd is that chick. She has her moments where you can tell that she had an all nighter with a newspaper, wikipedia, or book. She represents that portion of America that doesn't even know that they don't have a fucking clue. She was an interesting choice for a replacement on the show, but she appeals to the Brain Fart segment of the population. Sadly, she is not alone. It won't be long before "Sherri" is the new "Blonde". I think it already is.

Whose View Is It Anyway?

Okay, I'm guilty. Honestly, I''m extremely guily of indulging in the early morning chat fest known simply as"The View". Barbara Walter's brainchild has been a sporadic staple in my life. It all depended on what was going on in the world, if i was off of work, etc...... I have religiously tuned in as of late because I love Whoopi and I enjoy their Hot Topics segment. With all that being said, I've come to notice that the show's title "The View" has become far more appropriate lately. Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the staunch Republican cannot ever get a word in edge wise. I may not agree with her philosophies or opinions, but I do like to hear where others are coming from. She's constantly being cut off and hushed like a little baby. When she does get the opportunity to speak, her words are well thought out and researched. I don't think that it's fair for her to be treated the way she does simply because she's in the minority. "The View" is exactly that, a one-sided view that doesn't welcome opposing thought and opinion. I'm a certified Demorat and often high five my TV when Whoopi, Joy, Sheri, or Barbara speak the truth. I just feel as though Republicans deserve to have their voices heard on there as well. I think open, honest communication is the gateway to resolution. So, let's stop censoring (bullying) Elizabeth and DISCUSS the issues.......

By the way, I would love to see Rosie and Star back on the show. I think the ratings and quality would go out the roof. As controversial as both of them may be, you can't negate the fact that they are both intelligent women.

Big Hair, Big Boobs, But Not Texas

I spent the weekend in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with a friend of mine that somehow managed to get a free get-away weekend. I really was better off counting my pubic hairs but I decided to give it a shot anyway. The mountains were majestic. The food was actually not good. They kept advertising barbeque. The photos looked delicious. I should have eaten them instead. Slapping barbeque sauce on cooked meat is not enough.(at least not for my taste buds)

We trekked the Rocky Mountains. This was a plus because it gave me an opportunity to really see nature in one of it's rawest forms. There was a peace there. A peace that I wish I could've stolen and brought back home.

I am guilty of getting loss in the hustle of the day to day. I think it's important to sometimes sit back and look at what the Lord made. So many things made so much more sense out there. It was beautiful.

I was so worn out from the nature excursions that I passed out on contact with the hotel bed. I got some good sleep and some nice moments of reflection.

The entertainment value of the trip was worthy of pube counting.
(Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede can count me out. BTW- My friend didn't know she had breast implants!!!!)
The culinary value of the trip was worthy of eating a pencil eraser.
The reflective value of the trip was immeasurable.

I give it a C.

There is only one Etta

I got an opportunity to catch Fashion Rocks last night. I love fashion and I love music, so it was definitely a must see. I'll give it to Bey on capturing the essence of Etta's look. She gave "At Last" the old college try. She didn't sound bad, but there is only one Etta James. In fact, I've only heard one rendition that rivaled that of Ms. James and that was in a pageant in college. Celine, Christina, and Beyonce are way too polished and poised. There is only one Etta.She is gritty, bluesy, and raw.
In other Fashion Rock news, Justin Timberlake annoys me for some reason. I can't explain it. I realized it while I watched him take on Marvin Gaye. He did a good job, but I think the actual person is what annoys me. He seems like he's that white dude that will call you a "nigga" (not a nigger) cuz he thinks he's just that "down" to do so. LOL.

Also, I think the Stand Up To Cancer track with everyone and their momma on it is a little weak. You've got Beyonce, Mariah, Mary, Leona and there vocals were not really being used. Did anyone else notice that Ciara didn't do anything beyond the chorus? I do believe in the cause. When I heard news of the track, I just knew it was going to be a guaranteed #1.

The Kid Rock/Mary J Blige duet actually worked for me. There voices compliment each other well surprisingly.

Rihanna did her thing with "Vogue". Who would've thought that she'd be the next big thing when she first came out. I didn't see it coming. She's not that great of a singer, but it works for her. I think the accent gets her a "bye" with most ears.

Beyonce


Etta

Etta